Every blog and news outlet, whether it be music, sports or personal are all a buzz about the death of Michael Jackson. I hate to dog pile the subject considering this blog has already posted one short mention of this news already but I believe I have a thought, possibly a stupor, that quite a few people of my age can identify with.

I have to admit that I’m actually having a hard time with this news, not in the “I don’t know how my life is going to go on” kind of way but in the “I never really knew Michael Jackson as the King of Pop” kind of way. I grew up in the 80′s and when I say “grew up in the 80′s” I mean that I took my first steps, ate my first solid food and learned how not to crap my pants. Of course during the 80′s I listened to the music that my parents listened to, namely Frankly Valli and the Four Season, the Bee Gees and the Fifth Dimension. I do remember that my dad did have the Thriller vinyl but I don’t remember ever hearing him spin it. So by the time that I really started to understand music, who musicians were and being able to recognize a song and associate it to a particular musician Jackson was already turning in the circus act that we all, unfortunately, started to know him as.

This strange interim period of his life that I grew up in has put me feeling a little bit in an emotional limbo today. On the one hand, now that I’m an adult and a music lover, I definitely recognize Jackson’s influence on music and would bet that if you stopped every person you met on the street that each one of them would name a Jackson song as, at the very least, a guilty pleasure if not a favorite track outright. But on the other hand his later life (the one I am most familiar with) was comprised of nothing but trials, accusations and rumors. While fellow blogger Fred grew up with this imprinted on his mind as to what Michael Jackson was and meant to music, I, unfortunately, only remember this.

Now that I have written this out I think I know where I stand. I do feel saddened by his passing because of his lasting influence but mostly, as selfish as it may sound, I am more saddened for myself for having not been able to experience this optimal era in the history of music more fully. I just wish that I would have been old enough to recognize his glory days and hope that his lasting memory with the younger generation will be that of an amazing musician and entertainer instead of the lower point of his last days.